Torn and Torn About My Local Church

I love my local church, the one where I'm a member. Torn, because I may be leaving it soon in greater service to Our Lord. I'm a leader at this church, just cuz that's my nature. But there is a wonderful feedback that comes from members about me being a member. I like membership. I like being one of the flock. There's a comfort that comes from this. But it is all subject to change.

I was asked to pastor another church, and while my membership may remain with the church I love, I will have responsibilities that make worshiping there impossible. YIKES! See what happens when you say yes to some question that you don't want anyone to ask?

In the past month I've preached and assisted with worship at 4 different churches. The sparkle and wonder of meeting new friends in Christ is awesome. There is an immediate kindred spirit. That is wonderful in its own right. But the comfort factor of being with your "church family" is something that is beyond short-term thrills. One can be grounded by faithful, long-term, fellow disciples. Grounded in the fact that common histories are shared, reflected upon, and embraced as some type of granite statue, that cannot be changed. Such is history. But history, is just that.

I look forward to the new challenges service to Jesus will afford me. But I will lament, somewhat, the loss of fellowship with fellow congregants. But one must move on.

I confided with a member of our church that I may be leaving...and she has called me twice since then to ask whether I said yes or no to the invitation. I told her I said yes, but it is conditional. I may not be asked to serve elsewhere....or I may. Don't know and don't want to know. I want to give every bit of energy to this congregation where I serve until such time as I'm asked to bring the same fervor for Christ elsewhere. I will bring a fervor for Christ wherever I go.

My lovely wife, who never wanted to be the wife of a preacher....but then said, never be the wife of a pastor....is with me all the way. I'm overwhelmed with her support. She can be who she is...with me being who I am...and all the pieces will fall in place. I pray for courage at this time in my life.

So, the big question is, will I take the passion for worship that I have at my home church to one where I may be appointed. I think I will. If I don't...shame on me. I think I will.